3rd Times a Charm Right? (Seriously Trying Not to Freak Out Over Here...)

So about a month ago we found out that all my test results came back within normal ranges and were good to try for having kids again. I figured we'd go ahead and give it a try this last month. I also figured it might take a bit longer this time since we fell pregnant fairly quickly the last two times. Ha! I'm starting to wonder if I might be delusional. Guess what?

Yep, I'm pregnant again. First thought was something like ".... is that 2nd line really there? NO WAY! I better check with my hubby." Yea, he saw it too. Then I thought it was kind of funny for a few minutes. After that I felt pretty good for a bit. I was happy! Then I start over thinking everything. You know, the "I wonder if I'll get to keep this one" type of thoughts. The "oh crap. I have to go to another first Dr.'s appointment. That ought to be fun", type of thoughts. So I am happy, but I'm worried and scared and kinda confused. Too many emotions for all at the same time. Way too many. I kinda feel like crying sometimes because of this.

Oh, another weird thing I don't know how I feel about: My first pregnancy my estimated due date was March 6, 2013, and this time it's March 10, 2014. So I'm supposed to be due at pretty much the same time. I'm feeling like I might go crazy. When I manage not to think too much I'm good, happy even. Sometimes I wish I could just shut off my brain though, but I have no idea how to do that.

I haven't made my appointment yet. I'm kind of procrastinating. I'll probably make myself just call them tomorrow or Monday. I just wanted a few days that I didn't have this specific date that I was counting down to. The last two times that appointment sucked! It was bad. I hated finding out there was no more heartbeat that way. I really really want to be able to see the heartbeat and a healthy baby. I don't know if that'll happen though. So, I'm procrastinating.

So, here I am feeling crazier than normal and trying not to obsess over every little thing (yea, like that's gonna happen). Here's to another roller coaster ride of emotions life is throwing my way. Maybe I'll get good news at that first prenatal appointment. That sure is what I'm hoping for anyways.